My view of Adoption!

My view of Adoption!

What are your thoughts on Adoption? I am guessing a lot of you will say you don’t really think about it. You have not adopted, do not intend to adopt so really has nothing to do with you.

Unfortunately a lot of people think this way.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau, www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb  state that on September 30, 2010 there was 408,425 children in care awaiting adoption.

For me this is unacceptable. We should be taking more responsibility for children in care. Most of these children are in care through no fault of their own although my personal belief is that all of these children are in care through no fault of their own.

My personal life is usually just that, but I want to share with you why I am able to speak about this subject with authority. I adopted 4 children in the UK. I wanted to make a difference. I adopted children classed as “hard to place” due to their circumstances. I am not going to discuss why they were in care.

A lot of people who go into adoption want the baby or the toddler because there are probably going to have fewer problems. In general that is true. If you get children early enough you can mold them into great people.

It is the older children who need you more. They have probably been traumatized, lied to, abandoned or had unspeakable things happen to them. For me these children need you more. These children are the ones my heart goes out to more. Am I saying these children are easy to adopt, to shower love on, to put on the right path to be a productive  member of society….goodness me NO! You and I cannot imagine what they have been through, but never the less they do need you, even if they don’t know it.

They are not going to believe you or even trust you. Why would they. But let me tell you from my experience the journey is well worth it. Out of the 4 children I adopted, I have 2 in my life. My life would not be complete without them. One of my other children I hear about and the last, I have no information on. My eldest boy was 6 years of age when we adopted him. My next girl was 5. The next 2 came together as they were Brother and Sister. They were 9 and 10 years of age and had been very badly treated.  I hope in a small way they saw the possibilities offered to them. They were loved and I do still think about them.

There will be success and there will be failures, as long as you do you’re very best and put their best interests first, you cannot class that as a failure.

I used to give talks to groups on adoption, as I was classed as an authority on the subject; I was also the person that spoke to potential adopters for the agency. The agency knew I would talk about the good and not so good parts of adopting. This including court battles with birth parents, psychology reports needed to prove that going back to the parents was a bad idea. You need to be there for your children, even on a bad day.

It takes a committed person and most of the people who do this are unsung angels. I had a one on one networking meeting with someone in one of my networking groups, I had no idea she was in the final stages of the fostering application (this hopefully leads to adoption), she and her husband are one of the unsung angels and I wish them well.

Please think about this and of the countless children whose lives will be enhanced by you taking an interest ~ for caring. It is a commitment, but one I feel you will feel rewarding regardless of the outcome.

From My View

I had my 55^th Birthday yesterday. It is all downhill from here on in. I was feeling very sorry for myself.

Then I look out of my window to my back garden (excuse my use of garden, I am English and as it has grass in it, it is a garden). Peace and tranquility hit me. How can you feel down when there is such beauty out there?

I feed all birds and mammals that like to come into my garden, and believe me there are many. They do not trust me, but that is a good thing, it keeps them safe by not trusting us. A squirrel will sometimes come and feed when I am near, but rarely.

                        

I have a lot of chipmunks this year; last years’ young are setting up home, so instead of them running across the garden I have put food pockets near their burrows. It gives me so much pleasure.

Although the crows eat so much of the food, I appreciate them for their grace and elegance in flight. We have a hawk that will come in, as he knows the next meal is here. I cringe and will often go out and shoo.. him away (not that he takes too much notice of me), he is majestic and strong, and, even though he is after prey I have to admire him.

I rarely get to see the night mammals but I know they do visit. So I have a daytime feed and I also put out food in the evening.

 The fox is beautiful, there were two of them a while ago and I know they mate for life. I feel sorrow as this one has probably lost his mate.

I will get to laugh later when the groundhog arrives as he has personality plus. For such a bulky animal he is agile and moves quickly.

I have three wild turkeys that visit each morning and today I noticed them in another garden. It is nice just to observe them and see their closeness to each other.

Then you have the deer. They visit and will bring their young. Its perfect to observe them.

As I sit here writing this and listening to James Blunts’ “Some Kind of Trouble” CD, watching the wildlife in MY garden, I am at peace, also noting that the turkey have just found their way here and are ignoring my husband who is out in the garden.

Maybe 55 is not going to be so bad after all, I am at an age where I can appreciate and marvel at the beauty around me.

I realize that at 55 I am most at peace with myself. I feel good about myself. I guess I can now say I have the wisdom to appreciate my age.

Hmm…. 55 is not going to be so bad after all.